...About The Golden Cradle

Don't get me wrong...I'll be forever grateful. I was born a privileged kid, surrounded by love and the very best my parents could provide. I never had to struggle to put food on the table and every year I brought new shoes to school. I even went to a private one, because of how important english and relations would be for my future. Im thankful for my mothers every sweat drop and my fathers discretion or omission. Now I know what they were trying to protect me from, and thought in my heart I know their intentions were nothing but caring for me...cracking out of the shell has been shocking in many ways, and I'd dare to say painful, really painful. Life is no fairytale story nor pink crystal bubble...it's as raw as it can get. It is straight to your face and truth is nobody cares...here I am standing all alone, me, my shadow and myself. I've fallen many times, and everytime I come out stronger. Im angry though...I should have known better. I miss the inocence, I miss believing, I miss not being fearful of evil, not even knowing it existed...I just miss believing...I really do...L*

...About The Mirror

Paso muchas horas frente al espejo...tratando de descifrar los codigos del subconsciente, buscandole señales de vida. En silencio aguardo la reposesión de mi escencia, un exorcismo invertido, ejercicio interesante. Debato con la vanidad y le pido que se haga a un lado, le hablo de su insignificancia cuando el tiempo haya pasado y aunque ella me debata lo mucho que le debo, le soy indiferente...no me interesa jugar su juego. Rebusco en la mirada, detrás de los ojos manchados, en las hendiduras que le anteceden, que cuando no maquilladas son profundas y obscuras. Rebusco en la piel, en cada uno de sus poros, en los angulos de los huesos, las sienes y los pomulos. Repaso con el tacto el mapa de mis manos, les leo las palmas, las lineas, las venas...las risas, los estragos. Estoy buscando una niña, de siete u ocho años... pequeñita, tímida, asustada. Ojos grandes, temerosos, curiosos...sus mejillas coloradas y su pelo castaño. Ella no habla, no habla mucho, y aunque no emita sonidos de lejos le escucho. Paciente espero, se que ahí esta. Niña de mis ojos tu eres mi rumbo, por ti mi lucha, mi esfuerzo y mi verdad.

a Mariana

...About Life and Geniuses

I couldn't describe it better ...
"Like a Rolling Stone"
Bob Dylan

Once upon a time you dressed so fine
You threw the bums a dime in your prime, didnt you?
Peopled call, say, beware doll, youre bound to fall
You thought they were all kiddin you
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hangin out
Now you dont talk so loud
Now you dont seem so proud
About having to be scrounging for your next meal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

Youve gone to the finest school all right, miss lonely
But you know you only used to get juiced in it
And nobody has ever taught you how to live on the street
And now you find out youre gonna have to get used to it
You said youd never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but now you realize
Hes not selling any alibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And ask him do you want to make a deal?

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

You never turned around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns
When they all come down and did tricks for you
You never understood that it aint no good
You shouldnt let other people get your kicks for you
You used to ride on the chrome horse with your diplomat
Who carried on his shoulder a siamese cat
Aint it hard when you discover that
He really wasnt where its at
After he took from you everything he could steal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people
Theyre drinkin, thinkin that they got it made
Exchanging all kinds of precious gifts and things
But youd better lift your diamond ring, youd better pawn it babe
You used to be so amused
At napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him now, he calls you, you cant refuse
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
Youre invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

...About Fear

- Airplanes... I lost one of my dearest friends to a plane crash. 1996 FIFA World Cup Atlanta...now tell me...who says planes don't fall down.
- Elevators... I' ve got stuck around 5 times in my life. Don't get on one with me...trust me on this one.
- Goodbyes... Having to say goodbye to the people I love the most and not knowing if I'll ever see them again.
- Airports... Because of airlplanes and goodbyes.
- Money... Scary what people are capable of doing for it
- Power... Scary how people transform when they have it
- People... We are all very sweet, we are all very kind...but we are fake...we all have a hidden agenda and we betray. Wolves in sheep's clothing...I don't buy it anymore...get away from me
- Love... Because it hurts...the more you love...the bigger the pain
- Him... Because of love
- Sickness... Because I loose control ... and I don't ever wanna see my loved ones go through pain
- Failure... Because I've put my heart, my spirit and soul into it...and without a dream nothing is worth it
- Knowlegde... The more I know the more aware I am of my ignorance
- Distance... Because I miss my family and that's the highest price I'd have to pay
- Me... Because I think Im loosing it

...About Death

I think about her a lot...sometimes more oftenly than what I'd like to, I confess. I don't think it's fear. I think it is respect. I fear more for my loved ones than what I fear for myself. I talk to her, I mingle, I question her about what's out there. Without her there's no life, we would take it all for granted even more than what we already have. I think about her oftently...I do. Im curios, I'm aware. I am awkard...that I know, but even more awkard is to try to denie her. I think that she's a lady as I do with mother earth. I think that she's a godess, that she dances while she stares. I thank you for this morning as I know I am awake, I know that you're my accomplice I trust you'll blow my way...for me to achieve this dream of mine...I know you'll let me stay. I wanna live the richest life, not money Im talking 'bout...I want happiness, I want fullfilment...isn't it that what this is all about ?...peace L *