...About México

Dos realidades totalmente ajenas una a la otra...y quizá la mía ajena ambas...no lo se...pertenezco y al mismo tiempo traspaso con mis dedos otra dimensión un tanto etérea. Amo mi país, me fortalece el saberme respaldada por una cultura sólida y mágica. Deseo que nunca se disuelva, que nunca nadie pueda aplastarle...L**

...About El Subconsciente

Quisiera poder tener la capacidad de jugarle al subconsciente, quisiera manipularle y poder arrullarle para que no sienta dolor, para diluir su agonía en tinturas de alcoholado fermentadas bajo un sauce llorón. Quisiera poder hipnotizarle para contarle cuentos de hadas y que le arropen las constelaciones mientras reposa sobre una nube de vapor.Quisiera poder abrazarle para que llore entre mis brazos cual niño pequeño y entre sollozos acariciarle y entretejerle el pelo con estambres de color. Si yo pudiera le curaría para que con ternura sane y para que cada luna nueva mientras duerma sonría.

...About La Busqueda

Voy en busca de nuevas primaveras, de respuestas, de aves viajeras...busco espacios en donde quepa la locura para parir mis ilusiones y tejer todos y cada uno de mis sueños, con hilos de lluvia y polvos de hada que alumbren los venideros pasos que he de dar...busco otros mundos, otros ríos, otros vientos y otro ser, porque en esta esfera que flota cual pluma ligera...NADA ES LO QUE PARECE

...About Isolation

Im isolated, I don't wanna do anything else besides this which makes me feel alive, music...otherwise I'd be dead. Im isolated, Im freakin' scared of the world outside my own cause I don't understand shit of what's going on out there. Nada es lo que parece, no lo son las personas ni lo son las intenciones, y empiezo a creer que lo único real, en este, mi mundo, son mi perro, mi gata y las plantas que viven allá atrás...en mi patio...solo en ellos logro distinguir la verdad.

...About Books, Passions and Revelations

Escribo para no ahogarme. Leo libros que describen pasiones con las cuales me relaciono. Fantasías... anhelos que viven dentro de mi, de mi imaginación y de mis deseos traviesos. Escribo para no ahogarme, entregué el corazón y con la misma arrogancia lo reclamo de vuelta...nuevamente me pertenece...a mi y a nadie más. Traicionaron mi confianza y aunque fracaso en el intento del disimulo, puedo engañar a cualquiera menos a mi, maldito espejo en el que se refleja la mirada que no puedo evadir...se llama dignidad. Me hierve la rabia por dentro, mas que por el engaño por el credo predicado...porque nada es lo que parece y yo parezco no aprender las lecciones. Sembre en un puño de algodón la ilusión de las buenas venturas y un hombre con bandera de verdad y principios disfrazados de tintes de oleo me anestesio con las mieles de la retórica...ingenua yo le creí...y unos insipidos ojos rasgados desnudaron su debilidad...que frágil...que pequeño...carne y hueso al fin y al cabo...ni más ni menos que cualquier otro...tonta yo que le creí tan grande. Estoy emebelezada por la narrativa de Isabel Allende, su lectura despierta muchas revelaciones dentro de mi, bien podría ser yo uno de sus personajes o quizá un poco de todos. Quiero viajar, ir a París, España, Brasil...vivir una de esas aventuras cosmopolitas del viejo continente o de las grandes ciudades centro y sudamericanas, de esas que narran las grandes musas...mujeres de mundo.

...About The Golden Cradle

Don't get me wrong...I'll be forever grateful. I was born a privileged kid, surrounded by love and the very best my parents could provide. I never had to struggle to put food on the table and every year I brought new shoes to school. I even went to a private one, because of how important english and relations would be for my future. Im thankful for my mothers every sweat drop and my fathers discretion or omission. Now I know what they were trying to protect me from, and thought in my heart I know their intentions were nothing but caring for me...cracking out of the shell has been shocking in many ways, and I'd dare to say painful, really painful. Life is no fairytale story nor pink crystal bubble...it's as raw as it can get. It is straight to your face and truth is nobody cares...here I am standing all alone, me, my shadow and myself. I've fallen many times, and everytime I come out stronger. Im angry though...I should have known better. I miss the inocence, I miss believing, I miss not being fearful of evil, not even knowing it existed...I just miss believing...I really do...L*

...About The Mirror

Paso muchas horas frente al espejo...tratando de descifrar los codigos del subconsciente, buscandole señales de vida. En silencio aguardo la reposesión de mi escencia, un exorcismo invertido, ejercicio interesante. Debato con la vanidad y le pido que se haga a un lado, le hablo de su insignificancia cuando el tiempo haya pasado y aunque ella me debata lo mucho que le debo, le soy indiferente...no me interesa jugar su juego. Rebusco en la mirada, detrás de los ojos manchados, en las hendiduras que le anteceden, que cuando no maquilladas son profundas y obscuras. Rebusco en la piel, en cada uno de sus poros, en los angulos de los huesos, las sienes y los pomulos. Repaso con el tacto el mapa de mis manos, les leo las palmas, las lineas, las venas...las risas, los estragos. Estoy buscando una niña, de siete u ocho años... pequeñita, tímida, asustada. Ojos grandes, temerosos, curiosos...sus mejillas coloradas y su pelo castaño. Ella no habla, no habla mucho, y aunque no emita sonidos de lejos le escucho. Paciente espero, se que ahí esta. Niña de mis ojos tu eres mi rumbo, por ti mi lucha, mi esfuerzo y mi verdad.

a Mariana

...About Life and Geniuses

I couldn't describe it better ...
"Like a Rolling Stone"
Bob Dylan

Once upon a time you dressed so fine
You threw the bums a dime in your prime, didnt you?
Peopled call, say, beware doll, youre bound to fall
You thought they were all kiddin you
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hangin out
Now you dont talk so loud
Now you dont seem so proud
About having to be scrounging for your next meal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

Youve gone to the finest school all right, miss lonely
But you know you only used to get juiced in it
And nobody has ever taught you how to live on the street
And now you find out youre gonna have to get used to it
You said youd never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but now you realize
Hes not selling any alibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And ask him do you want to make a deal?

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

You never turned around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns
When they all come down and did tricks for you
You never understood that it aint no good
You shouldnt let other people get your kicks for you
You used to ride on the chrome horse with your diplomat
Who carried on his shoulder a siamese cat
Aint it hard when you discover that
He really wasnt where its at
After he took from you everything he could steal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people
Theyre drinkin, thinkin that they got it made
Exchanging all kinds of precious gifts and things
But youd better lift your diamond ring, youd better pawn it babe
You used to be so amused
At napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him now, he calls you, you cant refuse
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
Youre invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

...About Fear

- Airplanes... I lost one of my dearest friends to a plane crash. 1996 FIFA World Cup Atlanta...now tell me...who says planes don't fall down.
- Elevators... I' ve got stuck around 5 times in my life. Don't get on one with me...trust me on this one.
- Goodbyes... Having to say goodbye to the people I love the most and not knowing if I'll ever see them again.
- Airports... Because of airlplanes and goodbyes.
- Money... Scary what people are capable of doing for it
- Power... Scary how people transform when they have it
- People... We are all very sweet, we are all very kind...but we are fake...we all have a hidden agenda and we betray. Wolves in sheep's clothing...I don't buy it anymore...get away from me
- Love... Because it hurts...the more you love...the bigger the pain
- Him... Because of love
- Sickness... Because I loose control ... and I don't ever wanna see my loved ones go through pain
- Failure... Because I've put my heart, my spirit and soul into it...and without a dream nothing is worth it
- Knowlegde... The more I know the more aware I am of my ignorance
- Distance... Because I miss my family and that's the highest price I'd have to pay
- Me... Because I think Im loosing it

...About Death

I think about her a lot...sometimes more oftenly than what I'd like to, I confess. I don't think it's fear. I think it is respect. I fear more for my loved ones than what I fear for myself. I talk to her, I mingle, I question her about what's out there. Without her there's no life, we would take it all for granted even more than what we already have. I think about her oftently...I do. Im curios, I'm aware. I am awkard...that I know, but even more awkard is to try to denie her. I think that she's a lady as I do with mother earth. I think that she's a godess, that she dances while she stares. I thank you for this morning as I know I am awake, I know that you're my accomplice I trust you'll blow my way...for me to achieve this dream of mine...I know you'll let me stay. I wanna live the richest life, not money Im talking 'bout...I want happiness, I want fullfilment...isn't it that what this is all about ?...peace L *

...About La Confianza

La Confianza es un acto de fe que crece y se nutre del vientre de la verdad. El tiempo es un aliado de la confianza, sin el no hay ella pues de a poquito se construye, se gana y se da. La confianza es un lazo y es un cimiento, la ambiguedad su antitesis...no se anda a medias tintas, es un si o es un no pues si se le duda, se le anula. Toma mucho, toma mucho , confianza es un concepto solido de mucho peso y a la vez que es solido es frágil también...toma poco...muy poco y se derrumba sin mas ni mas. La palabra su bandera en este campo terrenal, es un cheque la palabra con la que sobre sangre juramos verdad. Yo quisiera saber de olvido pero yo no se olvidar, si fallaste a tu palabra, nunca más podras entrar.

...About Trust

Trust your mother, trust your dad, trust your sister and the love of your life. Trust your best friend and your dog...and besides them...trust no more.

...About Tears

I cry a lot...I do. There's a healing power in crying that nothing else can provide. In every tear we cry our soul, our solitude, our pain, even our love. The blessings of water come from within, it showers our spirit and lets the new blessings in. I love to cry as ironic as it sounds...i am grateful 'cause Im able to, not everybody can. Im not ashamed cause Im alive...I find myself in every tear I cry.

...About Solitude

I feel my spirit fail...Im a human being...Im afraid. Growth is inevitably painful...and within its pain, it is beautiful as well. Sometimes I wonder if there's anybody out there...It gets lonely and dark...funny that I don't fight it, I embrace it. I am curious. I wanna feel more and i wonder...if the depth of the feeling shifts both ways...let me sink...so I can fly later on.

...About Simple Things in Life

I just came back from walking Tomas in the park ... not a single person there ... perfect . There's something magical about parks that comes to life only at night, when everybody is gone and the air is crisp, when the moon is bright and the lawn holds rain drops in each and every stem...and there I am watching nature's blossom right in front of my eyes...lucky me. I must have done something right. That something magical I can't describe, you gotta go out there and walk your park, breathe it, feel it and then you'll know.