What for

I'm only human. I've never pretended or played perfect ... I just am ... existing... breathing ... searching. I enter the bathroom, I seat in the toilet, bring my hands to my face and break down. Where are we heading Lola ?...come on girl, why are you so scared ?. I feel lonely, she said. I'm not done crying, and I don't want to hide it. I am sad, I still am, don't know how long this will last ... this continuous " what for " ? L * Jan 25